Author David Murrow writes, “If you want to capture the heart of a man—especially a younger man—you have to offer him a shot at greatness.” Jesus offered men a shot at greatness—the opportunity to walk across the stage in eternity, have Jesus place a crown on our heads and whisper in our ear, “Well done.” This podcast is for the men who live for that moment—men whose greatest desire is to accomplish the mission assigned to them by Jesus. At the core of this mission is becoming like Jesus, which is one reason our mission is so tough. Yet every ounce of energy and moment of time we devote to building Christ-like character matters—it honors Him eternally. Today we examine two heart attitudes that do not come easily to us—having merciful and pure hearts.
MATT 5:7 BLESSED ARE THE MERCIFUL, FOR THEY SHALL RECEIVE MERCY
In the Roman culture of Jesus’ day, mercy was considered the supreme sign of weakness, and they despised weakness. One philosopher called mercy, “the disease of the soul.” It was a sign that you did not have what it takes to be a real Roman man! Mercy was the opposite of what the mighty, conquering, Roman legions portrayed as they intimidated and conquered all who tried to stop them. Such hard-heartedness also shaped Roman homes. A father had the right of patria opitestas. As the newborn infant was held up for him to see, the father would turn his thumb up if the father wanted the child to live or down if he wanted the child to die, in which case the child would be drowned. Showing any pity was scorned.
Mercy was equally scorned by the self-righteous scribes and pharisees of Jesus’ day. Like Inspector Javert in Les Miserables, they saw their role to be upholding a strict interpretation of God’s outward moral law, while completely missing the deeper issues of mercy and justice. Jesus described them, Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you tithe mint and dill and cumin, and have neglected the weightier matters of the law: justice and mercy and faithfulness (Matt 23:23). In Jesus’ day, the fifth beatitude’s call to mercy may have been the most radically countercultural of all the beatitudes.
The word, merciful is from the Greek word ELEOS. It is similar to grace. Both describe one’s attitude towards a sinner, a lawbreaker, a wrongdoer. But whereas grace extends pardon from the law’s penalty for sin, mercy extends relief from the pain of sin’s misery. Mercy is the compassionate response to one who is in pain because of his sin. In this beatitude, Jesus wants us to change the way we view the moral failures of others. The Christ-follower is not to be judgmental, condescending, angry and impatient with other’s shortcomings, resentful over past wounds, hard-hearted towards those whose sins have caused their own pain, or apathetic towards those enslaved by sin. WE may not CLOSE OUR HEARTS to those who wrong us or who are suffering the consequences of their own sinful choices because OUR MASTER did not CLOSE HIS HEART towards US when WE wronged HIM and were suffering the consequences of OUR OWN sinful choices. Peter knew he should forgive one who fully repented. But that was not all there was to mercy. We read:
Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times. Therefore the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants. When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. And since he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and payment to be made. So the servant fell on his knees, imploring him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything. And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave him the debt. But when that same servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii, and seizing him, he began to choke him, saying, ‘Pay what you owe.’ So his fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you.’ He refused and went and put him in prison until he should pay the debt. When his fellow servants saw what had taken place, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their master all that had taken place. Then his master called him and said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?’ And in anger his master delivered him to the jailers, until he should pay all his debt. So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart” (Mt 18:21-35).
What Does Mercy Look Like?
A. When we are wronged, we must forgive. Here is what forgiveness is NOT:
- It is NOT convincing myself that the wrong committed wasn’t wrong or doesn’t matter. Your God-given sense of justice tells you that you were wronged. You do not abandon your God-given sense of justice to forgive. What you do is trust God to balance the scales of justice. When Christ was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly (1 Pet 2:23).
- Forgiving someone does NOT mean taking that person back into a trust relationship. All Christian wives must forgive their husbands who commit adultery; but that does NOT mean taking them back sexually. Only they can determine if they can ever trust him enough to take him back and be completely naked—vulnerable to his rejection once more.
Forgiveness is 1) clearing the record of the one who wronged me, 2) refusing to demand perfect treatment towards me since I am so fallen myself, 3) leaving justice to God, and 4) believing that though the offense wronged me, God sovereignly allowed it to use it for my good. Joseph saw the sovereign hand of God behind the sinful actions of his brothers who sold him into slavery. When his brothers were terrified to meet him years later, Joseph said, “Don’t be afraid…. You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good. God is committed to making us like Jesus, so he must take us through unjust treatment in order to teach us what Christ’s mercy was.
B. In the discipline of our children we must exhibit mercy that expresses itself in both FIRMNESS and EMPATHY.
1) FIRMNESS: The unwillingness of parents to firmly punish their kids for disobedience is CRUELTY. God tells us, Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him (Prov 13:24). It is heartless to enable a child to grow up having never learned self-control, thinking he is the center of the universe, and expecting others to change to please him. A merciful heart requires doing what I don’t feel like doing—inflicting pain upon my child as punishment for his wrong behavior. This rod of correction is the God-ordained way that a child learns to walk upon the path of life. Inflicting measured pain NOW to prevent more severe pain LATER is what love and mercy REQUIRE.
2) EMPATHY: Parental mercifulness also requires empathy for the pain your child experiences because of his sinful nature. If we don’t empathize with his pain, our discipline of him will close his heart to us because it feels harsh and uncaring. We need Jesus to spank us; but we also need him to be our high priest who empathizes with our pain. Healthy discipline requires filling both roles. Here is an example from Boundaries With Kids of both: When it was time to leave for the movies Kathy had gotten busy on her phone and had not done her chores.
“No Kathy, you can’t go to the movies today. I said, ‘You have to do your chores first.’”
“That’s not fair! Marcia’s going. I hate your stupid rules.”
“I know. It’s frustrating when you don’t get to go to the movies again.”
“But I want to go today. You don’t even care!”
“I know you’re frustrated and angry. It’s tough to have to work before you have fun. I feel that way too.”
“I hate living here. I don’t ever get to do anything.”
“I know. It’s hard to miss the movies when you really want to go.”
“Well, if you know so much, then let me go.”
“I know you want to. It’s tough. But no.”
“But if I miss this one, there won’t be another sneak preview until this summer.”
“That’s sad. It’s a long time until next summer. I can see why you hate missing it so much. But the answer is still no. I told you clearly your chores had to be done before you could go to the movies with your friends."
Effective discipline requires empathy, but not so much that you give in. Boundaries need to be firm, or a child grows up a self-centered monster.
C. When others’ character deficiencies unfairly make your life more difficult a merciful heart is patient. That fallen person may be the incompetent store clerk, the lazy coworker, the driver who is talking on her cell phone instead of driving or anyone else who inconveniences you. That person may be your child, whose behavior makes you so angry that you explode. Or it may be your wife—some of whose character flaws hurt you or causes more work for you, which is not fair. Mercy towards those broken by sin is so….Jesus. Think of how he responded to OUR CHARACTER DEFICIENCES—which caused him to have to endure the agony of the cross. Yet, he never loses his temper over our bad attitudes, never shames us over our evil hearts, never withholds his affection for us when we turn our backs on him to sin. He is full of compassion over the way sin has deformed us.
In a Boston high society home, the phone rang, and the wife picked up. On the other end of the call was her son returning from the Vietnam war. Instant joy coursed through the mom’s veins. The son said, “I’d like very much to bring an army buddy home with me.”
His mom said, “Fine—invite him to stay with us for several days we’d love to get to know him.”
The son said, “He doesn’t have a right leg. He doesn’t have a right arm. He is missing his right eye and his face is disfigured.”
His mom answered, “Well that’s okay. He’s still very welcome to visit.”
The son said, “You still don’t understand. I want him to live with us—to be a part of our family. I want it to be permanent.”
His mom said, “Well, I’m not sure. What about…and she heard click then dial tone.
A couple of hours later, that same Boston phone rang. The mom picked up and heard the voice of a police sergeant from California. “We have a man here who has one arm and one leg, and his ID shows he’s your son. He’s just taken his own life.”
It was too painful to ask directly, so he had to ask indirectly “Am I too mangled and marred for you to still love me?” When our spouses, our kids, others around us hurt us or make our lives more difficult—it is because they are spiritually deformed, marred, torn up by their sin. The question is, “Will that pain that THEY bring into YOUR life because of their flawed character lead you to withdraw or move towards them in MERCY?”
Matt 5:8 BLESSED ARE THE PURE IN HEART FOR THEY SHALL SEE GOD
As we study the sixth beatitude, it helps to remember that Jesus was correcting the terrible perversion of Judaism brought about by the Pharisees. Scripture had always taught what the prophet Micah had explained. What does the Lord require of you but to do justice, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God (Micah 6:8)? But a Jewish man was told his mission was conforming to an impossible list of dos and don’ts. For example, there were 630 rules on Sabbath keeping. He couldn’t carry a burden on the Sabbath, but what constituted a burden?
“A burden is food equal in weight to a dried fig, enough wine for mixing in a goblet, milk enough for one swallow, honey enough to put on a wound, water enough to moisten an eye-salve, ink enough to write two letters of the alphabet.” So, writing must be defined. He who writes two letters of the alphabet with his right or left hand, whether of one kind or two kinds, if they are written with different inks or in different languages is guilty (The Law of the Elders).
That is what God’s Covenant of Grace made with Abraham and his posterity had become. Jesus corrected what these legalists were teaching. A dietary laws discussion gave him the opportunity. He said, It is not what goes into the mouth that defiles a person, but what comes out of the mouth….What comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart, and this defiles a person. For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false witness, slander. (Mt 15).
3 Observations About Pursing a Pure Heart.
A. Those who have a pure heart have ordered their loves according to God’s design. Spiritual maturity is not so much a matter of changing what our hands do, as changing what our hearts love. It is having the right loves. As Augustine pointed out, what we call virtues are forms of love. Honesty is loving your neighbor’s interests more than your own, even when the truth will put you at a disadvantage. You may say that you believe in social equality and justice and think that you do, but if you make business decisions that exploit others, it is because at the heart level, you love your own prosperity more than your neighbor’s. In short, what you love most at the moment is what controls your action at the moment. But the corruption of our hearts does not just cause us to love the wrong things or not love the right things. Impure hearts are also those whose loves are not ordered properly. For example, there is nothing wrong with loving your work, but if you love it more than your family, your loves are out of order, and you may ruin your family. Or if you love making money more than you love justice, then you will exploit your employees because your loves are disordered. Of course, the ultimate disordered love, and the ultimate source of our discontent is the failure to love our God first, supremely. Purity of heart begins with making God our first love. The Greek word for purity is KATHAROS, which was often used of metals that had been refined until all the impurities were removed leaving only the pure metal. Purity means unmixed, unalloyed, unadulterated. A pure heart is an undivided heart. Supreme allegiance is given to our first love. Putting allegiance to Christ first, then orders our other loves. This ordering of our loves means more than just correctly prioritizing my relationships. Purity of heart means loving Christ-like character more than complacency, loving integrity more than ease, loving generosity more than financial security, loving conflict resolution more than emotional withdrawal from hard relationships, biting a critical tongue because we love patience more than we love expressing how we feel, loving honesty about our weaknesses, more than we love impressing others, loving the pleasure of giving to others more the satisfaction of having our own needs tended to. So, our first observation is that pursuing a pure heart requires us to order our loves according to God’s design.
B. Observation #2 comes from understanding he biblical use of the word heart, which is KARDIA, from which we get cardiac. The heart is used metaphorically in Scripture to refer to the inner person, the seat of our desires, motivations and attitudes. A pure heart, therefore, can only come from exposing the MOTIVES of our heart to God’s Word. We read in Hebrews 4:12-13: The word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the THOUGHTS AND INTENTIONS of the heart. Pursuing a pure heart means inviting God to reveal to us the motives underlying our actions “Lord, is my motive wanting to impress so others think more highly of me? Is my pride keeping me arguing instead of saying, ‘You’re right?’ Is it my anger that is causing me to shut out my wife right now? Is it my laziness that causes me to complain when I have to do unexpected additional work to fix a problem? Is my grumpiness over an unexpected bill the result of not wanting to trust you again to provide, or sinful autonomy that hates depending upon you? Am I angry at a setback at work because I am leaning too heavily on success to make my life meaningful, rather than obedience to you?” David prayed, Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting! (Ps 139:23-24).
C. Our third observation about pursing purity of heart is that it requires standing guard over our God-given desires to stop Satan or sin from hijacking them, pouring gasoline on them, and leading us into evil. Proverbs 4:23 gives this incredible warning: Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. The Greek word for lust, EPITHUMIA is literally over-desire. Here is a picture of life when Satan succeeds at turning up the flame on our desires which then burn too hot.
- The desire for recognition becomes blind ambition destroying our homes
- The desire to succeed leads us to cut ethical corners.
- Our desire for respect prevents us from admitting our mistakes or sins.
- The desire to save money leads to bending the truth to get good deals.
- The desire for rest leads to an unwillingness to serve others.
- The desire to be valued hardens our heart to those who don’t express appreciation for us.
- The desire for relaxation leads to self-indulgence.
- The pleasure of eating leads to gluttony.
- The desire for sexual satisfaction leads to viewing porn and masturbating because it is easier than real engagement with a real woman, i.e. our wives.
- The pleasure of control stops me from being a hero-maker, i.e. focusing on developing others’ potential which requires more effort than doing it myself.
A pure hearted man is one who has expunged the selfish motives that drive him.
So, the right kind of greatness is having a heart like that of Jesus, so that we can show Jesus to the world. That is our calling. Long ago the prophet, Ezekiel, spoke of us: I will give them an undivided heart and put a new spirit in them; I will remove from them their heart of stone and give them a heart of flesh. Christ has made our hearts new and sent the Holy Spirit to live there to give us his power--the power to have ever more merciful and pure hearts.
For Further Prayerful Thought:
- What insights about mercy can help you be more patient with others, and tolerant of the way THEIR deficiencies make YOUR life more difficult?
- Do you agree that in parenting mercy requires both FIRMNESS and EMPATHY? How would you explain the importance of this balance to another?
- If spiritual maturity is more about what our hearts love than about what our hands do, what does this mean for your heart loves?
