One of my favorite leadership proverbs is, “He who thinks he is leading when no one is following is only taking a walk.” So how do leaders get others to follow them? That is a relevant question because nearly everyone listening to the podcast is in a leadership position or will be. This includes married men (or single guys who expect to be) as leaders of their marriages, dads, those overseeing others at work, and those filling leadership roles in the church.
As we return to our pre-Christmas study of I Timothy, we come to chapter three, where Paul lays out the qualifications to serve as an elder in the church. In doing so, he gives us a portrait of not only the character required for spiritual leadership, but of leadership that even the secular world acknowledges attracts followers.
Let’s begin studying the qualities required for spiritual leadership by looking at the first two verses of I Timothy 3: The saying is trustworthy: If anyone aspires to the office of overseer, he desires a noble task. Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach.
Without detracting from the truth that this description is God’s Word, it is interesting that even in Roman secular culture, there is a common grace understanding of very similar virtues required for effective leadership.
For example, ancient writer, Diogenes Latier gives the stoic description: “He must be married, he must be without pride, he must be temperate and he must combine prudence of mind with excellence of outward behavior.” Another ancient writer, Onosander gives us another. “He must be prudent, self-controlled, sober, frugal, enduring in toil, intelligent, without love of money, neither young nor old, if possible, the father of a family, able to speak competently, and of good reputation” (William Batclay, Commentary on I Timothy).
Leadership is influence, i.e. the ability to get a following. So, even secular observations about reality point to qualities of a leader that awaken respect in followers. So, let’s dig into this text.
Paul Begins by Affirming Leadership
“If anyone aspires to the office of overseer, he desires a noble task.” Paul begins with the affirmation of leadership structures for the church in two ways: 1) by affirming one who aspires to serve as a leader and 2) by affirming the leadership position of overseer, itself, calling this function of leading a noble task. This affirmation grows from several roots.
- God specifically designed a leadership position for the church. That position is described by three words, which are used somewhat interchangeably in the NT. They are elder, PRESBUTEROS (Titus 1:5), overseer EPISCOPAS (1 Tim 3:1), and pastor (POIMEN) (Eph 4:11 and I Peter 5:1-2). Elder points to the fundamental requirement for being ordained to this office, spiritual maturity. Overseer points to this office holders’ task of directing the church in its functions. Pastor (shepherd) refers to the relationship between the leaders and their flock.
- This is the office tasked with the authoritative teaching of God’s Word. Notice that in verse two, the overseer must be able to teach. The is the fundamental difference between the office of deacon and elder. This requirement is missing in the biblical requirements for deacon. Also, the office of pastor is grammatically linked to the process of teaching in Ephesians 4:11 so that the office is called pastor/teacher. The elder, overseer, shepherd has one eye on the Word of God and the other on the sheep to feed and lead them. Within the eldership, later in I Timothy, Paul seems to delineate a category of elders who teach and preach the Word full time, “who labor in preaching and teaching,” to be worthy of double honor, which includes paying them fairly (I Tim 5:17-18).
- The office of overseer is affirmed because God has ordained structures of authority for family, civil, and ecclesiastical life. As we’ve seen in past podcasts, God is quite clear in telling us that these authority structures are ordained by him—men to lead their marriages and homes, civil government to reward good and punish evil, and elders in the church to oversee it and lead it. This biblical worldview of authority structures sharply conflicts with an ideology currently poisoning our culture called cultural Marxism (critical theory), which automatically calls those who hold these positions privileged oppressors. Moreover, where Scripture commands believers to respect those holding leadership positions because God placed them there, critical theory demonizes those leaders, going so far as to justifies using force to overthrow leadership structures. This biblical worldview of leadership is also directly opposed by egalitarianism, which ignores what the Bible teaches about men filling biblical leadership roles. Leading our homes is NOT patriarchal oppression; it is obedience to Jesus!
The word, noble (KAKOS), which Paul uses to describe the office of overseer, means inherently good, honorable, distinguished, exalted by moral or ethical excellence. Leading our homes and churches as men is not only demeaned by many in the culture but often viewed as outright oppressive patriarchy. But the fact is that every effort to lead is precious; it is a noble effort in God’s eyes.
This truth speaks volumes to guys who are disheartened about their leadership of their marriage and families. As wonderful as our wives are, Scripture tells us that even wives who support the biblical teaching of male leadership in the home and church still have a sinful nature that instinctively opposes their husbands. Genesis 3:16 teaches this reality and when both Paul and Peter cover household responsibilities they both find it necessary to command wives to submit to their husbands. My point is not to blame wives. After all, how well do we do our jobs—repeatedly sacrificing to put our wives’ well-being ahead of our own needs and desires? The point is that marriage leadership is tough because it requires overcoming two sinful natures. If you feel beaten up, not appreciated, and like a failure at loving her unselfishly, when you are not receiving what you need, remember, your task is a noble one. Spiritual leadership at home is not for sissies; it is for those who man up embracing it as the noble calling that it is. Seeking to love unconditionally is a royal action, in God’s eyes. When you keep trying to lead, even when you don’t see any results in your marriage or with your kids—you are still striving to do something that Jesus notices and calls noble.
A Noble Office Must Be Filled by Those of Noble Character
A. Above reproach. Paul begins with a sobering reality. The leader of an organization, whether a family, a business, or a church carries the weight of responsibility for the organization’s reputation on his shoulders. As Christ’s stewards, our leadership responsibility of our families, businesses (since God created us for good works he planned before creation), and especially Christ’s church begins, continues, and ends with the cry, “NEVER let me bring shame upon your name from this position.” May we all be consumed by the passion not just to never put Jesus’ reputation at risk but to fulfill leadership roles assigned by Jesus with such excellence that his name is exalted.
B. The husband of one wife. This Greek phrase as not common. In Greek, the word wife and woman are the same word, as are husband and man. This text is literally “of one-wife husband.” A literalistic interpretation of this phrase is that men who never marry, whose wives have died, or who are divorced are prohibited from serving as elders. Such an interpretation is inconsistent with the rest of Scripture. For example, a parallel phrase is used as a requirement for women to receive financial help as widows, (of one-husband wife) Yet, in the same text the younger widows are urged to remarry, which would disqualify future elderly women from meeting the requirement of being the wife of one husband if this interpretation were intended by Paul. So, the best understanding, in my view, is to interpret the phrase to mean “a one-woman man.” This widely accepted understanding precludes polygamy and having a mistress, which were common in Roman culture. It also prohibits on-going adultery or an unbiblical divorce, for which the church believes sincere repentance has not been demonstrated.
This “a one-woman man” interpretation is also a very apt description of sexual purity. Our sexual appetite is an enormous blessing. In fact, science has demonstrated chemical and hormonal health benefits of intercourse, not to mention the re-bonding of hearts. Being a wise “one-woman man” is not always easy, since two individuals are involved, both of whom have a selfish nature to overcome. Nevertheless, a wise spiritual leader will be patient but intentional about doing what he can to ensure that he and his wife are satisfying each other’s sexual and emotional intimacy needs. (link to my book).
C. Sober-minded (NEPHALIOS). This Greek word means “to be free from the influence of intoxicants.” It is translated temperate. There is one exception to this prohibition against intoxication. Married men are commanded, Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth, a lovely deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love. Why should you be intoxicated, my son, with a forbidden woman and embrace the bosom of an adulteress? (Proverbs 5:18-20)
This one exception is remarkable, since drunkenness, in general, is sin. With the exception of being sexually addicted to our wives, the evil of addictions is that we are never to let anything but the Holy Spirit control us. Paul made this clear in his prohibition, “Do not be drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Holy Spirit” (Eph 5:18). God wants us to enjoy the pleasures of life, working, sex, success, winning, food, drink, recreation. But the virtue NEPHALIOS, which is often used in conjunction of being watchful, makes us careful not to let the appetite for pleasure control us, whether the appetite is for alcohol, sexual pleasure (porn), food (gluttony), or success (workaholism).
D. Self-control (SOPHRON). Barclay points out that this Greek word was virtually untranslatable into one word. He explains, “It is variously translated, of sound mind, discreet, prudent, self-controlled, chaste, having complete control over sensual desires…Plato defined it as ‘the mastery of pleasure and desire.’” This virtue goes beyond preventing our appetites from being so out-of-control that they addict us (NEPHALIOS); this word implies the inner mastery of all of our desires—physical, emotional, and spiritual. It is hard to overstate the importance of this character quality in Scripture. For example, when Paul writes a similar pastoral letter to Titus, he urges Titus to implore four groups of believers to pursue godliness, older men, older women, younger women and younger men. The only virtue that Paul challenges all four groups to focus upon is this quality, SOPHRON, i.e. self-control. Here are a few thoughts about the virtue of self-control.
- Self-control is most easily learned in childhood. I believe that the reason God says to us, Whoever spares the rod hates his son (Prov 13:24) is that painful consequences for wrong behavior are vital for teaching a child self-control. To never say, “No” to a child or put down clear boundaries with painful consequences for violations deprives a child of learning one of the most foundational virtues, “saying no to my desires,” i.e. self-control.
- Proverbs 25:28 says, Like a city that is broken into and without walls so is a person who has no self-control over his spirit. Failure to teach a child self-mastery through painful consequences for crossing the line produces adults who are led around by whatever desire seizes them like children following the Pied Piper.
- The reason that self-control is so valuable is this truism: We shape our habits, our habits shape our character, our character shapes our destiny.
- A great definition of self-control is instant obedience to the initial promptings of the Holy Spirit.
- When someone asks you for a prayer request and you can’t think of anything, just ask him to pray for the fruit of the Spirit, self-control. It is essential for shaping our lives to accomplish God’s game plan for us. But it is also freeing to know that in our weakness, we can claim the fruit of God’s Spirit at work in us producing self-control.
E. Respectable (KOSMIAN). This adjective comes from the Greek word KOSMOS (origin of English word cosmos), which is the Greek word for world, with an emphasis on the word order, as in “the created order.” It is translated respectable, well-behaved, and dignified, all of which refer to the outward life that is well-ordered. Barclay notices the connection between the prior virtue, self-control (SOHRON) and this quality KOSMIAN. “If a man is KOSMIAN in his outer conduct, it is because he is SOPHRON in his inner life.” The progression of thought here suggests a statement made by Gordon MacDonald in his book Ordering Your Private World, mentioned earlier in this study, “If my outer world is in order, it will be because I am convinced that the inner world of the spiritual must govern the outer world of activity.” Is that the way you are functioning? Is time for retreating you your inner world a regular part of your time management?
Perhaps this virtue should not surprise us, when we think back to the way Paul began this letter to Timothy. Charge certain persons not to teach any different doctrine, nor to devote themselves to myths and endless genealogies, which promote speculations rather than the STEWARDSHIP from God that is by faith. This term, stewardship, is a very rich word, with an enormous biblical theme behind it to describe our mission as Christ-followers. Just as our Creator-God brought order out of chaos, we, God’s image-bearers are to shape and order Kingdom Earth FOR Him. We are to spread the Kingdom righteousness and restoration wherever we have influence. Our inner walk with Jesus should be resulting in outward impact for the kingdom of righteousness in the cosmos.
F. Hospitable. (PHILOXENIA). The Greek word for hospitality comes from the word for friendship love—PHILEO combined with the word for stranger XENIA. It describes an open heart towards outsiders and a resulting open home towards them. A welcoming heart towards outsiders has always been at the core of living out the Christian faith. This aspect of godliness calls all Christians to special care for aliens, sojourners, and immigrants. It is in keeping with OT calls to vigilance by God’s people to ensure that the disenfranchised are never mistreated: “Do not oppress the widow, the fatherless, the sojourner, or the poor” (Zechariah 7:10).
As I have stated in the past, I believe that Scripture leaves no room for Christians to oppose the enforcement of borders in our country or Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) officers enforcing immigration law. Not only is administering such punishment the responsibility of government, but Scripture also makes clear that for an unrepentant, continual lawbreaker, punishing the lawbreaker is an act of love. However, what about those who have crossed our border illegally, once, but are otherwise law-abiding aliens? In my view, Christians cannot just close our hearts to their plight. We cannot abandon our call to love the stranger, even if he once crossed the border illegally. It seems to me that the call to love the stranger requires us to at least ask some questions: Is every alien caught by ICE given a chance to be legally deported with his family? Is issuing a steep fine for crossing the border illegally but offering a path to citizenship more expressive of Jesus’ just mercy than forcibly deporting them? I don’t know. But I do know that godliness requires special love for outsiders, even those who broke the law to come into our country.
To summarize this episode, these two verses from I Timothy 3, are extremely countercultural. Leadership and authority in our culture are routinely demonized because the strands of egalitarianism and cultural Marxism are spreading throughout the fabric of social media. But God says, pursing your God-assigned leadership position is a noble endeavor. And that pursuit of leadership requires cultivating the heart attitudes that draw others into following you.
For Further Prayerful Thought:
- How does Paul’s insistence that fulfilling a spiritual leadership position is a “noble task” affect your perspective about such positions?
- How can we better remember that fulfilling the leadership positions assigned to us by Jesus with excellence brings honor to Him?
- Which of the six virtues most stood out to you 1) above reproach, 2) a one-woman man, 3) sober-minded, 4) self-controlled, 5) exhibiting an ordered life, 6) demonstrating love for the outsider.
- Which of the above six do you most need to focus upon building?
