Leadership Lessons from Jesus’ Dad

Some months ago, as I got ready to take a turn towards the church where I worship, I had to brake suddenly on a green light because a convoy of the Secret Service vehicles accompanying the Vice President was heading to my church. Having grown up in the suburbs of Washington D.C. this was just another example of the things in my surroundings that cause me to be drawn to national leaders, to the corridors of power where I live, to following the big, world-shaping events across the globe. Since I want my life to make a real difference for Christ, I get discouraged comparing myself to the “big stuff” around me that grabs the headlines. It’s easy to feel like the small efforts I make to please God in my life are insignificant in the full scheme of things. My life is so ordinary. It is easy to feel like the mundane decisions of my life don’t really make a difference compared to the lives of the important people and things around me.

So, Joseph, the man we are examining today in the Christmas story is one I can identify with. Never in the limelight, Joseph is the actor in the Christmas drama who is sort of an afterthought. He was always the one in the background, whom we hardly see, the one who was just an ordinary man trying to make a living and raise a family. In fact, unlike Mary, Zechariah and Elizabeth, whose words reacting to the supernatural events surrounding Jesus’ birth are recorded by Matthew or Luke, there are no words spoken by Joseph recorded in the Bible—just his ACTIONS. That was Joseph. No fanfare, no bright lights, no slick talk; he was just a worker, a tradesman. Like many Christian men I know—Joseph just did it. His example has much to teach men. So, let’s bring this background figure out from the shadows and put a spotlight on him to see what we can learn that will challenge us.

(From Matthew 1) Now the birth of Jesus Christ took place in this way. When his mother Mary had been betrothed to Joseph, before they came together she was found to be with child from the Holy Spirit. And her husband Joseph, being a just man and unwilling to put her to shame, resolved to divorce her quietly. But as he considered these things, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream, saying, “Joseph, son of David, do not fear to take Mary as your wife, for that which is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins.” All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had spoken by the prophet: “Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and they shall call his name Immanuel” (which means, God with us). When Joseph woke from sleep, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded him: he took his wife but knew her not until she had given birth to a son. And he called his name Jesus….

After the wise men find out where the messiah was to be born the story continues.

And going into the house, they saw the child with Mary his mother, and they fell down and worshiped him. Then, opening their treasures, they offered him gifts, gold and frankincense and myrrh.  And being warned in a dream not to return to Herod, they departed to their own country by another way. Now when they had departed, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream and said, “Rise, take the child and his mother, and flee to Egypt, and remain there until I tell you, for Herod is about to search for the child, to destroy him.” And he rose and took the child and his mother by night and departed to Egypt and remained there until the death of Herod. This was to fulfill what the Lord had spoken by the prophet, “Out of Egypt I called my son.”….But when Herod died, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared in a dream to Joseph in Egypt, saying, “Rise, take the child and his mother and go to the land of Israel, for those who sought the child's life are dead.” And he rose and took the child and his mother and went to the land of Israel. But when he heard that Archelaus was reigning over Judea in place of his father Herod, he was afraid to go there, and being warned in a dream he withdrew to the district of Galilee.

A. First, notice that God directed Joseph as the leader of his home, not Mary.

• God directed Joseph to follow through on the betrothal and marry Mary.
• God directed Joseph to leave Bethlehem and go to Egypt to escape Herod’s executioners.
• God directed Joseph to bring his family back to Israel from Egypt
• God directed Joseph when the southern part of Israel was ruled by Herod’s unstable son, to settle in Galilee, which was under the rule of Herod’s safer son.

Mary did not come to Joseph saying, “God said you are to marry me,” or “God said we need to move to Egypt” or “back to Galilee.” God treated Mary with great respect and tenderness, seeking permission from Mary before in a sense invading her body to bring about conception. He tenderly providing an older relative, Elizabeth, who could share the supernatural experience of her pregnancy. And Mary’s response to the angel is paradigm for godly womanhood. She was a spiritual superstar. But God led her family through Joseph.

As men following Christ, we need to be sure that the current western culture’s resistance to men leading their homes and churches does not weaken our resolve to lead both well. God’s design matters. And its disregard harms our land. This week, from David Pawson’s courageous book, Leadership is Male, I read:

There are real differences between men and women both in their nature and in their relationships, which are rooted in the original creation and will be permanent features of a healthy society. Any attempt to obliterate these distinctions, even in the name of equality), whether through legal or social pressure, will, in the long term damage our humanity causing confusion (particularly crises of identity) and frustration (as we try to be what God never intended us to be). A unisex society is contrary to divine creation, not just Hebrew tradition.  

B. Our second observation from Joseph’s life is that he was a “just” or “righteous” man. The word, DIKAIOSUNE—is the same word that is used in Jesus’ command, “Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness”. It refers to one whose life is characterized by obedience to God’s moral law. Joseph and Mary appear to be part of the faithful remnant of Israel that put into practice the teachings of the Torah. For example, forty days after Jesus’ birth, they went into the temple in Jerusalem to make the burnt offering and sin offering required for the purification of the mother after the birth of her first born, a son. We also know that it was the habit of Joseph’s family to make an annual pilgrimage to Jerusalem to celebrate Passover (Luke 2:41) and that in the home led by Joseph, Jesus “grew in wisdom and in stature and in favor with God and men.” Jesus, being truly human, had to learn wisdom. He did that learning in Joseph’s home. It is true that Joseph was a sinner; Jesus is the only actor in the story who was perfect. Nevertheless, as best we can tell, Joseph was leading his home and following the example of Abraham the father of his faith, about whom God had said, For I have chosen him, that he may command his children and his household after him to keep the way of the Lord by doing righteousness and justice, so that the Lord may bring to Abraham what he has promised him. (Gen 18:19).

It is interesting that Matthew’s description of Joseph as a righteous man includes both his commitment to moral uprightness and to compassion. Because of his righteous moral standards, he knew that he should not marry one of questionable character whose pregnancy indicated either that she was a whore or an adulteress. But being righteous in Matthew’s mind also describes a man who, because of his love for Mary and heart of kindness, did not want to expose her to shame, and possible execution as an adulteress. Joseph was himself deeply wronged and disgraced by Mary’s seeming disloyalty to him. He could have been considering saying to his friends, “Don’t look at Mary and accused me of getting her pregnant! While away at Zechariah and Elizabeth’s she played the whore and got pregnant. She deserves to be stoned.” But, Joseph’s concern was for Mary’s disgrace, not his own—so he planned to divorce her quietly. Joseph’s “righteousness” was real. He upheld the moral standard of God and also loved deeply the one he tought was the sinner—Mary—his betrothed. 

C.  The third characteristic of Joseph was his outstanding immediate obedience to God’s prompting. After the first angelic visit we read, WHEN JOSEPH WOKE FROM SLEEP, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded him (Matt 1:24). No delay, no excuses, no argument. He immediately obeyed. When an angel visited him a second time, telling him to get up and go to Egypt, we read, And he rose and took the child and his mother by night and departed to Egypt and remained there until the death of Herod. Again, the language implies immediate obedience—he woke Mary up and they left right away. In the third angelic visit, Joseph is again commanded to get up and go. Again, we read, And he rose and took the child and his mother and went to the land of Israel. What an example Joseph is to all men of immediate obedience! Notice also that Joseph’s obedience to God protected his family—from the potential slaughter of Jesus by Herod or his son Archelaus. Men, every time we choose to obey God, we are choosing to benefit our families. It is our wife and kids who benefit most when we resist lust and channel our sexual desires only towards our wives. It is our families who benefit from controlling our anger instead of yielding to it and ripping into our loved ones. It is our families who benefit from our surrender to Christ’s Lordship. The steadfast love of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear him, and his righteousness to children's children, to those who keep his covenant and remember to do his commandments (Psalm 103:17-18).

D. Joseph also demonstrated the courage to take the world’s disdain. Although he and Mary knew she was pregnant through the Holy Spirit, if he obeyed God and married her, everyone would know that the child was born sooner than nine months after the marriage. So either they had sex before marriage or she had been unfaithful to him while visiting her relative Elizabeth. In either case, in their shame-based society, they would be scorned, excluded, and rejected. By saying, “Yes,” to God, they chose to be scorned, second class citizens forever. When Jesus came into Joseph’s life, it meant kissing his stellar reputation, good-bye.

What is the application for us? If you want Jesus in your life, it means having the courage to take the disdain of the world. Can you imagine Joseph trying to explain why his fiancée is pregnant? “O, I can explain. This angel told me she is pregnant by the holy spirit.” This is an extreme example, but it helps us see a truth stated by Paul to the Corinthians. The natural person does not accept the things of the Spirit of God, for they are folly to him, and he is not able to understand them because they are spiritually discerned (1 Corinth 2:14). Joseph chose to value the approval of God, not the approval of men. He challenges Christian men to have the same courage.

E. Joseph’s plans are continually disrupted by God. Joseph is probably just trying to be a faithful tradesman, looking forward to his upcoming marriage to Mary, raising a family in Nazareth, and expecting to take over his father, Jacob’s trade as a craftsman. But then Mary’s pregnancy and the angel come crashing into his quiet life. First, he has to move up his wedding date, then he’s got to figure out how to get Marry, who is eight and a half months pregnant, the ninety miles south to Bethlehem. It appears that they began their new family in Bethlehem instead of returning to Nazareth, but before Jesus even reached his second birthday, Joseph has to pick up his family and travel a hundred miles or so south to Egypt. Then, when God says to return to Israel, Joseph disrupts his life again and walks right into another dangerous situation. Herod’s son Archelaus, who has shown himself to be as cruel as his father is now ruling the southern part of Israel—Idumea, Judah, and Samaria. Having obeyed God, Joseph finds himself in a situation that produces very appropriate fear. So, God again throws Joseph’s plans into disarray, sending an angel to tell him not  to settle in the south but sending him to settle in Galilee.

God has a habit of disrupting our lives. Joseph’s story jolts us into remembering a truth about being a Christ-follower that parallels being a Marine. The only easy day is yesterday. Joseph’s message to us today would be, “If you want an easy, comfortable, safe, life—don’t surrender your will to Yahweh.” He would advise,  “Don’t get angry because God allows your plans to be disrupted, your hopes to be dashed, or your expectations to be crushed. Don’t demand that God make your life easy as Christ’s follower.” We live out our commitment to Christ in the midst of a raging battle in which we are constantly under siege by our own sinful nature, by the temptations of the Evil one, and by the results of evil reigning in parts of the culture that defies justice and biblical truth. No one ever said it was easy to follow Jesus.

F. Our sixth observation about Joseph is that he experienced God’s astonishing provision for his and his family’s needs. Providing for our families is part of Adam’s calling in Genesis 2 when he is given the responsibility to cultivate (avad) the garden. At times, men are frustrated with our inability to provide financially as we would like to. It is noteworthy that Joseph and Mary were poor. The offering they made forty days after Jesus’ birth, was either “two turtledoves or two young pigeons” (Luke 2:23), which was the sacrifice option for those who were too poor to offer a lamb. In a world where there was no “paid leave,” Joseph was also disrupted from making a living for his family numerous times: because of the travel south for the census, starting a new job in Bethlehem, moving to Egypt and seeking a job he could do when he didn’t even know the language and eventually moving back to start over again in Nazareth. In the midst of this challenge to provide for his family including the travel costs, Joseph saw Jehovah Jireh (a name for God which means, the LORD will provide) at work. Shortly before having to flee with Jesus and Mary to Egypt as refugees, God sent the Magi to give valuable gifts to Jesus—gold, frankincense, and myrrh. Jehovah Jireh provided all that Joseph would need to travel to Egypt and care for his family while he found work to put food on their table. I think Joseph’s message to us today, would be, “When God calls you to do something, don’t ever doubt that he will give you all you need to obey his call.”

G. In Luke 2:42ff there is another incident from Jesus’ boyhood that, I believe speaks to Joseph’s example--this time, his parenting approach. When he (Jesus) was twelve years old, they went up according to custom. And when the feast was ended, as they were returning, the boy Jesus stayed behind in Jerusalem. His parents did not know it, but supposing him to be in the group they went a day's journey, but then they began to search for him among their relatives and acquaintances, and when they did not find him, they returned to Jerusalem, searching for him. After three days they found him in the temple, sitting among the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions.

When you read this story you probably think, as I do, “How does a twelve-year-old get separated from his family and the parents don’t realize it for three days?" Admittedly, in our culture we have little understanding of such annual pilgrimages that were far more like extended family reunions than car or plane rides. Nevertheless, the independence Mary and Joseph gave Jesus at age twelve is striking. Ok, he was a perfect kid! But still, Jesus had to learn wisdom and obedience. The kind of independence shown by twelve-year-old Jesus had to be earned by being responsible. One of the foundational principles of parenting is teaching responsibility!  Here are a few tips from my favorite specialists, Henry Cloud and John Townsend. They liken a child’s life to having his own little red wagon.

Their life is their own little red wagon, and their job is to pull it, without expecting someone else to….One of the hallmarks of maturity is taking responsibility for one’s own life, desires, and problems. If we show up late for work, we don’t blame the freeway. If we want to advance in our career, we take courses. If we are angry, then we deal with whatever made us angry rather than waiting for others to soothe our feelings. Mature adults see themselves as problem solvers instead of trying to find someone else to blame or solve problems for them. Immature people experience life as victims and constantly want someone else to solve their problems (Boundaries With Kids).

Mary and Joseph must have excelled at teaching their children responsibility. How else could they trust twelve-year-old Jesus to be on his own in the city of Jerusalem for over three days, even if there were lots of relatives around.

H. The final observation about Joseph is that in all likelihood he died early. If he was 18 when betrothed to Mary, (a distinct possibility) he did not make it out of his forties. We don’t know how long Jesus was Joseph’s apprentice, or when his eldest son, Jesus, had to take over the care of Mary who became a single mom and Jesus' at least seven siblings (Mk 6:3 & Mt 13:56). Perhaps it should not surprise us that in God's plan, by the time Jesus began his ministry, Joseph had faded completely out of the story. That was just like Joseph. No fanfare, no bright lights, no slick talk; he was just an ordinary guy. The kind of man God uses. Like many Christian men I know—Joseph just did it. Let’s ask God to help us learn from his example.

For Further Prayerful Thought: 

1. Which of the 7 characteristics of Joseph do you most admire?
2. Which of the 7 characteristics of Joseph, do you think required the most spiritual strength?
3. Which of the 7 characteristics of Joseph do you most want to remember?